Dieting starts up a vicious cycle. Once we make a conscious decision to drastically reduce our caloric intake, we will instantly experience deprivation. This will often result in feelings of anger as we question why others can eat Haagen-Dazs and chocolate and not struggle with their weight. Our will-power slowly dwindles and inevitably we give into one of our temptations. We feel like a failure and decide, since we've screwed up, we might as well "go for the gusto" and binge out on all our favorites. Afterwards, we feel out of control and guilty for our actions. We feel hopeless and desperate and turn to food to comfort us. This just fuels our insecurities and low self-esteem as we start to believe we're fat, ugly and a loser. We decide the only way to feel better is to lose the weight and the cycle starts again!
Part of initiating a fat loss program is understanding the psychology of our behaviors and actions. There are lots of things we can do to gain control of our actions:
One aspect of gaining control is understanding the role of negative and irrational thinking. We are often our own worst critics and can be so hard on ourselves. Here are some examples of things you may have said to yourself which may sabotage your efforts:
- I missed my workout. The whole day is ruined. I'm a total loser!
- If I don't starve myself I'll get fat!
- Since I pigged out at lunch, the whole day is ruined. I might as well stuff myself today and start all over again tomorrow!
- Things always go wrong! I'm such a failure!
- It's not the diet program that's wrong, it's me!
- I might have lost 10 pounds but I can't go to the beach until I'm a perfect size 6!
- I'll be happy once I lose the weight!
- My thighs are the fattest I've ever seen!
- If I look like Kate Moss, then my boyfriend will pay more attention to me.
- Why do I have such bad will-power?
- Why couldn't I just have been born with a perfect body?
- I've got to lose 20 pounds within a month to get ready for my vacation or my holidays will be ruined!
- I must never eat anything fattening!
- I'm a loser!
- These things always happen to me!
- I'll always be like this!
- I can't seem to do anything right!
- Why would anybody love me?
Actions you can take to overcome negative or irrational thinking:
- Listen to your thoughts at the times when you feel worst and listen for irrational/negative thinking.
- Dispute these thoughts by asking "Why is this so?", "Where is this negativity coming from?" and "Could their be another possible explanation or interpretation?"
- Imagine repeating what you've said to a close friend or child? We could never imagine talking to others as we talk to ourselves. The next time you catch yourself thinking irrationally or negatively, ask yourself if you'd ever speak this way to another human being. You deserve the same type of respect you'd give anybody else! Remind yourself that if you continually practice negative self-talk, eventually, you may actually start to believe your own words. Your self-esteem can end up taking a real beating.
- Displace continuing irrational beliefs by techniques of:
Thought stopping (when worrying, think of a stop sign and then pleasant thoughts)
Stress management (when worrying, participate in your favorite relaxation techniques like massage, reading the Bible, baths, journal writing etc.)
- Learn to live in the moment and to experience true joy in your life. Stop worrying about the past or the future.
- Each night before you fall asleep, make a mental note of what was the best part of your day or of something that you experienced that you really appreciated or enjoyed.
- Live today! Self-hatred takes a lot of time and energy. Obsessing about your body weight, nutrition plan and exercise program leaves you tired and depressed. Deciding to not enjoy the here-and-now because you've decided to wait until you lose the weight will leave you feeling deprived and will often lead to more negative feelings and behaviors. Remember that thin thighs, a small butt and a 6-pack set of abdominals is not the ticket to a meaningful existence. Fill your life with interesting experiences and people and you'll enjoy a much higher quality of life.
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